Escaping the Friendzone

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The Friend Zone. These three simple words can be a person’s worst nightmare. The Oxford English Dictionary describes the Friend Zone as “A situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic…interest in the other.” Basically, you like someone, and they have no interest in anything with you other than a friendship. There are many different levels of the Friend Zone, and today I will be highlighting one of them.

Speaking from experience, this level of the friend zone is the easiest to enter, and hardest to escape. You may be familiar with it, and if you are not, chances are you will be. It starts out simple. That special someone stops talking to you as much, then you start to notice things changing, but you try not to overthink things. Days go by as you wait for things to go back to normal, but it never happens. Then, the actual friendzoning begins.

It can hit you in a few ways. Her friends may tell you. She may text or call you. Or, she may just drop you, leaving you to try to pick up the broken pieces of your relationship, wondering what happened. However it happens, it’s brutal, and it leaves you confused and heartbroken.

But once reality hits you in the face, once you realize your heart has been ripped to pieces, what do you do next?

Well, there’s no need to move on, because it’s not too late to win her heart back. In this step-by-step guide, we will be using a fictional girl named “Kloie” as our friendzoner.

  1. Assess the situation. This is where mutual friends come in. They can be the key to understanding what is going on. They can talk to Kloie, figure out what you did wrong, or even if you did anything wrong. Make sure these friends understand the dire importance of secrecy when figuring out what went wrong.
  2. Decide if it’s worth it. By trying to escape the Friend Zone, you put your heart as risk of getting ripped to pieces. If it is not worth the blood, sweat, and tears it will take to escape the abyss of the friend zone, then start the painful process of moving on. If you decide it is worth the pain, then you will proceed to step three.
  3. Emphasize your independence. Make sure Kloie understands that she may have friendzoned you, but that you do not need her. It is also important that you let her see that you have interest in others. For example, if there is anyone else you are interested in, get to know them, and make sure that people notice you, especially Kloie. She may not let on, but she will be jealous to some degree.
  4. Bide your time. This can be the hardest, and requires patience, but it is essential. It is important to step back. It may be a week, a month, or in extreme cases, even a year. You need to wait for Kloie’s feelings for you to slowly fade back. Once you like someone, you can never completely extinguish the flame of love, and eventually, if you play things right, it can go from a spark to a bonfire.
  1. The healing process. This is where things get good. Start noticing her more. This is where subtle hints start to come in. First, Complement Kloie sometime. Second, begin to spend more time with her. If you start to let on that you still have interest in her, and you play things right, she will signal with signs of her own.

Anyone who knows me knows my experience with the cruel, bottomless pit of sorrow that we call the Friend Zone. For all those wondering, I have escaped. It’s a time consuming, painful process, but the joy it brings is worth it. Good luck to all my fellow Mustangs who are rising like a phoenix from the ashes of your lost relationships.