This Disease Has Doctors Stumped

Doctors were shocked when they discovered this new disease ravaging the world: Adulting.

Researchers claim there is no hope of solving this epidemic as they have made no advancements in developing a cure, after years upon years of studying this disease. One researcher working in the Herriman quarantine, Mr. Thorpe, described one of the symptoms as, “. . . beginning to understand that oftentimes adults need to do stuff that we don’t want to do . . .” Other symptoms include having more responsibilities, making life decisions and accomplishing difficult goals.  

The situation is not completely hopeless. People have been known to postpone the symptoms and, in very rare cases, people have been able to avoid symptoms completely. This is often accomplished by being disrespectful to adults and peers, disrupting classes, procrastinating vital work, and being immature overall. These people have doctors fooled.

Quarantines are being built to contain the disease under the guise of  “high schools.” There have been reports of adolescents in these containment areas trying to avoid some of the symptoms. Scientists are calling this defense mechanism, “senioritis.” Senioritis is a new mutation, though studies have shown that senioritis naturally corrects itself in the beginning of June the following year.

There is reason to believe the development of this disease is connected to the expectation for adolescents to grow up. Because of the lack of a cure, everyone must try to stay young forever. Watch your favorite childhood movies, go sledding, build snowmen, whatever keeps you young at heart.